“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode”

“I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination”

“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas”

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them”

“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for”

“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing”

“I’m not shy, I just don’t like you”

“I don’t have a problem with caffeine, I have a problem without it” QUOTE ABOUT CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE

“I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in sarcasm”

“I’m not always late, but when I am, it’s usually on purpose”

“I may be a disaster, but at least I’m a fun one”

“I’m not addicted to chocolate, chocolate is addicted to me”

“I’m not a morning person, don’t talk to me until my coffee does”

“I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font”

“I’m not short, I’m just concentrated cuteness”

“I’m not high maintenance, I just have high standards”

“I’m not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?”

“I’m not a nerd, I’m just smarter than you”

“I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social”