“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I try to avoid situations where I have to do things.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing gravity.”

“I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just on extended vacation mode.”

“I’m not forgetful, I just have selective memory.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just a master of strategic napping.”

“I’m not a morning person, I’m an all-day-snooze-button person.”

“I’m not slow, I’m just on snail mode.”

“I don’t have a ‘To-Do’ list, I have a ‘Did-Not-Do’ list.”

“I’m not boring, I’m just practicing for retirement.”

“I don’t have a resting b-face, I have an active annoyed face.”

“I always carry a spare phone charger, just in case my ambition dies.”

“I’m not a drama queen, I’m the ruler of my own ridiculous kingdom.”

“I don’t have a messy room, I have a carefully curated disorganized space.” GOOD AFTERNOON HANDSOME QUOTES

“I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop irritating me.”

“I’m not a night owl, I’m just living in a different time zone.”

“I’m not broke, I’m just experiencing a temporary wealth deficiency.”

“I don’t have a fear of commitment, I just have a going-out-of-style phobia.”

“I’m not short, I’m a socially efficient height.”

“I’m not a procrastinator, I just believe in giving tasks the opportunity to complete themselves.”

“I’m not disorganized, I just have my own version of order.”

“I’m not a bad driver, I’m on a quest to discover all the alternate routes.”

“I don’t snore, I dream in surround sound.”

“I’m not a morning person, I’m just not a fan of alarm clock intrusions.”

“I’m not a troublemaker, I’m just a catalyst for hilarity.”

“I’m not indecisive, I just enjoy keeping my options open indefinitely.”